the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
