You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
