I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize