i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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