he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
