The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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