I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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