would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
