Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days