I didn't shave. On purpose
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You have to summon your inner elephant
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C