you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
