you have to choose: penises or morals?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
