He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
