ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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