Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
