We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My vagina just clenched in fear
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
