Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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