dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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