So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
