I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
