Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
