Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
