So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
