dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
