I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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