there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
