anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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