I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize