I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
