My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize