Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
