I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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