Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
