We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
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The struggles of a small town man whore
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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