well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
