My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
