In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's official drugs can't kill me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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