Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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