WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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