You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How does it feel to date your dad?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
