wat bout pragnant strippers??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
