Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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