if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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