Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
