Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
