I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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