me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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