thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
