so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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