with your own penis?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
