You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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