the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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