physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
