Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
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I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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