you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
