Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
