"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
