I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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