This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
