It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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