I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
