well I can't set my house on fire every night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
